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Why am I here?


It would be easy to start from the beginning, the thing is, I am not sure where the beginning is.How is it that I am now here? Well the story seems to go like this. Around the month of March, my parents arrived to our home in Houston from visiting my grandma who lives in the Rio Grande Valley area. This was something that they tried to do as often as possible. The thing is that this time my mom came back to Houston, with an idea in mind.

She let us know, that she had made the decision to move down there. She was also going to look into possibly starting her own insurance business. This had been an idea in the family, but for 5 or 10 years down the road, not the end of April. Yet, we all supported her and respected her decision.

My dad joked around that I should move down there as well. Being in the insurance business was not something that I wanted to do for ever. To me him making those comments was never serious. I, myself would even joke around saying that I would go as well a few months after my mom. Although I was not really was not sure at all if I even wanted to or not. You could say I was confused about it, so I began to pray. I was not even sure what I was praying for, I didn't know what I wanted. Yet, I knew I wanted to go help my mom, how could I not? I knew the business, I had my license, and I had just received noticed that I was not accepted into the Master's Program (Social Work). There was nothing holding me back in Houston.Yeah, I would miss my dad, siblings and friends but other than that, what else did I have? I realized I was scared, in a sense I would be starting over. There was uncertainty of what was going to happen, and what would I be doing, how was everything going to work out?! Fear of uncertainty is something I struggle with, I was scared to let go.

One Friday at work (two weeks before my mom's last day), there was this feeling that took over me. I was not sure what it was, I just felt it take over. After lunchtime I told my boss I would be leaving as well (mom & I worked together- for almost 2 years!). My parents didn't even know that I had made that decision, thankfully they were okay with it. Since it was short notice for my boss to replace two employees, it was decided that I would leave at the end of May- I ended up leaving June 5th.

New Beginnings

Now I am here, in the RGV, with still a lot of confusion and uncertainty, completely out of my comfort zone, maybe that is why I am here. Although I love Houston, my family and the friends I have there, I was just going through the motions, going through a routine without actually doing anything.In the past two months of being here, I have had time to think about things that I had forgotten or decided to ignore.

I have realized that there is never a reason not to Smile.



5 comments :

  1. Change is always viewed as something to be feared but in the end, whether it be for the best or the worst, you'll be glad you did what you did 😊

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    1. Yes. So far the move has been a great thing, although it sometimes get a bit scary, I just have to be reminded to not let the fear take over me.

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