Love Does Not...

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Ever look at your life, and simply begin to wonder how is it that you were able to overcome one of the darkest moments of your life? How even after having completely lost yourself in somebody else, you are now able to find firm ground to walk on? As a result of this, have you felt ashamed, and worthless for letting yourself get to that point? I did.

See, the thing is that a few years ago I was in a very unhealthy, draining and toxic relationship. It completely broke me. However, If I am being honest I decided to ignore all the signs. After all, we both had our flaws, we had both made mistakes, and we were engaged. Love seemed to be the reason for it all.
Love, Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Relationships

Looking back, it pains me to realize that I believed that I was in love, but when you are young and in “love” it is so easy to get wrapped up in the perfect words, the surprises, and the emotions of it all. With the right words, all the reasons/excuses made sense, in the mind of an immature teen.

If he was constantly checking up on you. It meant he missed you.

If he asked who you were with. It meant he cared about your friends.

If he got upset because you were focusing too much attention on your friends.

It meant, he was simply jealous because he loves you.

I won’t deny that I had my own faults, I allowed someone else to kiss me and, even though I told him immediately after it happened; now he couldn’t trust me. As a result of this passwords were exchanged. After all, I should be thankful he still wanted to be with me.

On the other hand, I had no reason to question him, even though he would lie, but it was so I wouldn’t get mad. He would simply get defensive; then again he wasn’t the one who cheated.

I knew this was not right, but I had already exposed my emotions, my heart and even my mind to him. I had made myself vulnerable. Stepping away was a difficult thing to do. January 2012, it happened, I broke up with him. I would love to say that things ended then, but they didn’t.

Guard Your Heart, Bible Verse

At this moment he already knew the things that had meaning for me. Prayer, God, family, future, work, and career, all were included in these promises. I wanted to believe that love could defeat all things, and that there was hope in the relationship, because in the end, he was the one trying and I was the one that had given up on us, based on our parents advice. They simply wanted to control us.
Two months after the break up, I found out he was dating someone, according to him, she needed from his support. For months after, we went back and forth between him “soon” breaking up with her, to “we will have a future together”. 8 months passed before I finally decided it was time to end it all.

I know, what you might be thinking. Why didn’t you end it sooner? I had unfortunately put so much of myself into this relationship that the thought of being away from him made me feel incomplete. He would remind me, that we were a team, and together we could accomplish great things. Maybe you are thinking, Well it’s your fault for putting yourself in that situation, and maybe you are right, we were both young and immature there is no doubt about that. Yet in my immaturity, I never imagined that things could escalate so quickly, and didn’t understand just how much this could actually hurt me. You may be thinking, all relationships have issues what’s the big deal? For me the deal was that I was no longer myself. I had put so much into “US” that I had forgotten who I was. I had distanced myself from some friends, and even family. I felt ashamed that I had believed everything, and that I had allowed for it to get to that point. I wanted to be alone. I no longer knew how to make things matter again. This had left a mark, just not one that was visible for others to see.

Six years down the road here I am. Single. That’s okay. Because as cliché as it sounds, I have had the opportunity to deal with this in many ways, from careless to helpful, but most importantly I have learned what love really means. Not just in a romantic type of way, but in a true genuine form. The love I receive from friends, family, and most importantly God. I wouldn’t have been able to get to where I am on my own.

Love is, Bible Verse

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Dating Violence is defined as the physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a dating relationship. For more information or help visit loveisrespect.org Even if you do not feel like it is violence/abuse, unhealthy relationships can easily escalate, it is best to talk to someone before the situation gets more complicated.

Christmas Gift Guide: Texas Edition

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The Holidays are among us, starting off with my favorite and the ever so delicious Thanksgiving. There is something simply beautiful about spending time with family, preparing a wonderful dinner and just taking the time to enjoy each other’s company. A rare thing for us to do in this crazy hectic thing we call life. If you are like me, rushing through dinner, just to spend hours in long lines outside a store in the Texas heat, surrounded by complete strangers, for a deal that you just might be able to get just is not your thing. However, I do understand why many choose to do so, there are savings and if you’re quick enough you might actually get all or most of your Christmas shopping done early. Now, I’m here to provide some suggestions on how you can still be able to just that! I would love to share with y’all some of my favorite local/small businesses that provide gifting options, for your family and yourself *wink*wink*

Ellie Creates:

Starting off this list with one of my newest favorite business this year, Ellie Creates. Ellie has a series of unique mugs meant to make you smile first thing in the morning while you have your coffee or chocolatito, and honestly, they do. You will find items that include Icons from our childhood, and famous sayings from your abuelita, and even some new clever ones inspired by dichos, or simply your favorite pan dulce. I purchased the “Richie/Bob” mug, because of what the film “La Bamba” means to me, it reminds me of movie time with my dad and singing along to “Come on, come on, Little sweetheart….”I've received several compliments on it, it’s definitely a conversation starter. One thing that I appreciate about Ellie is the great detail that she puts into the care and shipment of the items, easy if you want to send as a gift! To purchase mugs from Ellie Creates DM her on Instagram, let her know Smiley Shares sent you and she will give you a 5% discount on any mug!

Instagram: @Ellie.Creates

Ellie Creates: (Right Pic) shows all the cute details that Ellie added when shipping the Mug. (Left Pic) Mug at my Office Desk. 

May Designs:

If you’re looking for great quality personalized items, for someone big or small who enjoys writing, coloring, likes being organized, or would like to be intentional with their prayers and moments of gratitude, May Designs can help with that on top of providing many other wonderful items. I first came to know of this Austin based business when one of my friends posted about their notebooks. I am a sucker for notebooks, I don’t always write, but I like having options for when I do, in many cases the notebooks themselves serve as an inspiration. My first purchase from May Designs was during their “Texas” series, to support the Hurricane Harvey efforts. When you purchase from them, you are able to choose the designs (which is hard because they have so many wonderful ones), size of the notebook, selections of pages, and if the design allows further customization. keep in mind, that the notebooks are being customized to you, and therefore be patient with the shipping, it doesn't take super long but do allow more than 3- 5 business days. Trust me, it will defintely be worth it, these products are quality, and prices are reasonable. Don't forget MayDesigns also has Folios, iPhone Cases, Stationery, and other accessories that can be an add-on, even stocking stuffers! MayDesigns has been gracious in offering a 25% discount on full priced merchandise (with the exception of fashion items) from November 29-December 6 add “bg-smiley25” as your code. I would suggest to sign up for their email list, to see what other sales might be going on either before or after just in case that works for you better.

Website: https://www.maydesigns.com/
Instagram: @MayDesigns

Top: #TexasForever & It's A Wonderful Life Notebooks are Classic Size. "Grace Changes Everything" is a Mini. Bottom Left: Prayers + Gratitude pages, with a scripture section. Bottom Center: B+W Monthly Agenda Page. Bottom Right: Weekly Agenda Page

Whiskey Boat Goods:

If you had the opportunity to read my post from last year, or simply just follow me on social media you know that I love so many of the Whiskey Boat Goods products. But, the reason I decided to include them once again is 1. Morgan and Eddie are great folks! 2. They have grown as a business and that means NEW PRODUCTS!!! 3. I found my favorite scent, yall! Whiskey Boat Goods, now also has Wax Melts, Soaps, and Reclaimed wood items, and just like with their candles these are all handcrafted in Austin Tx, with absolutely every detail and care taken into consideration from the process of creation to the shipping. I personally haven’t burned my own candle, because I used to live in a small apartment and seemed a bit risky, however, last year I did give one as a gift, she began using it the next day and loved it ever since. I still remember visiting last Christmas break and being able to smell the blueberry cobbler. Now, I do live in a bigger apartment and candles could be an option, however, decided to use my wax melts first simply because the “Early morning Cowboy” scent made me fall in love with it, I couldn’t get enough of the freshly brewed coffee mixed with a hint of leather. Don’t get me wrong, Coffee and Campfire smells amazing, but EMC is the top one right now. Now moving on to their soaps, is because I know they are done with care but also because I found them to be nourishing for my skin, as someone who tends to have dry skin, handmade products tend to work better. I have tried their Country Clothesline, which was great but I am also currently enjoying “Miles City Winter” just because I love the smell of Lavender. I can’t speak too much on their Reclaimed wood items since I haven’t ordered any, however seeing the standards that both Morgan and Eddie have for their products, I’m positive these items will hold the same standards. Whiskey Boat Goods, will like to let you in on their Black Friday sale a little early and enjoy a 30% Discount on all orders between Monday, November 20th- Monday, November 27th by using the code: SmileyShares30 now, I would highly suggest signing up for their emails, as they are always having sales and updates on their latest/seasonal scents.

Website: https://whiskeyboatgoods.com/
Instagram: @WhiskeyBoatGoods

WBG: Early Morning Cowboy Wax Melts, Miles City Winter Soap, Coffee & A Campfire Candle

Oliver & Otis:

Last but most definitely not least, we’ve got one of my absolute favorite t-shirt brands, Oliver & Otis!!! O&O is a family owned/ran business by sisters Arin and Allie, and their mom Patti, they have t-shirts for everyone in the family, as some are unisex, they have several youth designs and even onesies, on top of that they have a series of socks, and some wonderful Texas theme hats. Speaking oTexas-themed items, that’s actually how I began my small O&O collection, I wanted Texas Shirts to be able to wear to concerts and when traveling through Texas. Now, their shirts are a part of my daily wardrobe, not only do I appreciate the designs, whether they are Texas theme or inspired or if there is a spiritual/religious perspective to it, but because the quality on their shirt is great and comfortable to wear all day, and I am all about comfort. They also have some clever tees that included pop culture references. There is definitely something for everyone. I’ve been able to purchase tees on different occasions for my mom, sister, and friends, and they have also loved them. One thing that I would like to point out about Oliver and Otis is their constant changing designs, just a heads up if there is something that you really like; get it right then and there. Their items don’t last long because they are loved by many but since they are all very creative they are continuously adding new designs, and you may not see the one you liked for a while. Thankfully, if you were looking to purchase some of their holiday designs those should be on there for a while. I tried to take pictures of my recent purchases just so you can see the fit on the shirts. Now, if you plan to purchase any of them use code: 20Fall17 to add a 10% to your purchase!

Website: http://www.oliverandotis.com/
Instagram: @OliverandOtis
O&O: some of their new designs. (Left Pic) V Neck Shirt Size L. (Top Right) Scoop Neck Size L. (Bottom Right) Crew Neck Size L.

There you have it yall! Hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have, now you know more of my favorite business that I care about and support, and hopefully, you can see why I do. With some of these discounts, you can start shopping right now, or even after some of the Black Friday deals, gives you more time to enjoy your family on this Thanksgiving Thursday. With that being said, I would like to wish YOU, and YOUR FAMILY a wonderful Thanksgiving. Enjoy!

Smiley Asks: Matthew Rodriguez from Southern Ashes

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If you follow me on social media or have had a conversation with me about Texas Country, there is a 95% chance I mentioned Southern Ashes somewhere in our conversation. They are one of the first bands I came across when I moved down to the Valley, little did I know that they had only been together for a few months. Southern Ashes began as a band on February 14, 2015, since then a lot has changed, there have been bigger venues, growing attendance at their shows, among other things. Thankfully I had the opportunity meet up with Matthew Rodriguez frontman for the band, and reminisce on the past 2 and half years, discuss upcoming plans, and special dates for the band. Give it a read, and mark your calendars for the new music from Southern Ashes!

To begin, give me a quick recap of how the band came together.

MR: Honestly, after almost giving up on music having come back from an American Idol audition in Louisiana (short story of what my career was before the band). This dude reached out to me, and asked if I could play a gig, ended up being Rick (Band Manager), and Rick knew JC (Drummer), and a guy name Chendo (Guitar Player) and Orly (bass player). All of the sudden things started happening, we started practicing more and more. Then our original guitar and bass player left for work reasons. Red ended up helping us out randomly one day at London’s, and we liked his vibe. Then Chris came along, he is Red’s cousin and we all clicked. Ruby came before everybody, after us being without musicians; we needed someone who could help keep the music going since I was still growing as a musician. We were trying to find good people, not just great players, but good people that play great.

How has the dynamic of the band been considering everyone comes from different musical backgrounds?

MR: JC plays Metal, Chris likes the 90’s - 311 and all that good stuff, and we play a lot of 90’s during practice so I think we are inspired by that. Ruby is more of the traditional person she keeps us well rounded. It all just kind of meshes together somehow. We all listen to very similar a thing, that’s what we grew up on. We didn’t all necessarily grow up listening to country, we kind of rebelled against it, and then you just end up falling back in love with, so here we are now.

Y'all have been together now for 2 and half years now, it is crazy to think that you all have been able to keep the momentum going without having an album that says “THIS IS US”. Has it been difficult for you all to create a “fanbase”?

MR: Well, I don’t call them fans. I call them friends because at the end of the day that is what they are. It hasn’t been hard because we like to hang out with those that came to our shows. We start not knowing you, and then take the time getting to know you, and then I see their faces often. Many times I see them more than my Family. It has been easy here in the Valley to build those relationships, now when we go out of town it is difficult, we don’t always have something to leave behind, besides the memories of our performance and us acknowledging them. Simply hoping that they will remember you.

Southern Ashes Facebook
As a band, what has been the biggest lesson you all have learned in the past couple of years?

MR: I think the biggest lesson would be, don’t underestimate your crowd. I am a big pusher in playing random songs nobody knows. I know I may get some slack for saying this but we started playing Sturgill Simpson before anybody else in the Valley was playing Sturgill Simpson, we also play “Purple Rain” which nobody does, and that is our biggest thing. “Your weakness is being unique until it becomes your biggest strength”

Alright now, to what everyone has been waiting for. Yall have an album coming out, how is it coming along, is it finished?

MR: It's done! We’ve delayed it so much because it is our first album. We want to make sure we get everything done right, and then my marketing side kicks in and I become picky about certain things. But, there are no more delays, we have a date just waiting for approval which according to Itunes we should hear a response in 3 to 4 days confirming it. I am personally ready for it to be released, these songs that I wrote were a part of my past, and I am ready to move on.

This album will definitely be an introduction of Southern Ashes, what are you hoping new and loyal listeners will get from the album?

MR: I am hoping people will listen with an open mind, we didn’t shoot for a traditional or alternative sound, we focused on emotions. What we felt worked, is essentially what we did. If the song felt like it needed “that”, then we added “that” to it. I’m hoping people are open to it, the lyrics and the sound. I hope we were able to get the stories across. Many of the songs were based on the lives of people around me, what I interpreted their story to be. That is why the album is called “Back of My Mind” these are stories that have always stayed there since my youth.

What is one thing that you and the band wanted to make sure the album had?

MR: I just hope we were able to get the essence of some of these stories across. Some of the songs, I’ve had in my mind for a very long time; we wanted to make sure we were able to bring the stories to life in every aspect of it. The band knows who the songs were inspired by and we worked to get the emotions, everything together so the point could get across. That’s what we want.

What song are you the most excited for everyone to hear?

MR: I am excited for all of our songs, but I think the one that I am the most excited for is “Your Kiss”. It is a song almost a part two to one of the songs we are releasing first, and I am just excited about it. During the recording of the song, we added the use quinoa as a shaker, and that was fun and compliment the song. We have received positive feedback from our friends that heard it on youtube, and we’ve even seen them singing along at shows. I am excited about it because it is updated and people have told me they can relate to how they feel about someone else. The song is actually about someone missing somebody and seeing them around town, feeling like you are in a dream even their kiss feels real.

Lastly, describe the album in 5 words.

MR: Dark. Emotional. Transitional, because in the end, it does get lighter….what is that word, when you look back to the past and you….Nostalgic (laughs), for me since it takes me back to high school and college. Depressing. It is a depressing album, there’s a lot of heartbreaking in the songs.

There you have it, folks, the new and first Southern Ashes EP will be up for Pre-Orders this Friday, October 20, 2017 (link will be posted once available) and will be released October 27th, 2017. The band will be having their release party at Rinky Dinky's. Meanwhile, I will leave you with this exclusive listen at "Drive" the soon to be single by Southern Ashes and a personal favorite of mine "My Girl".

Follow Southern Ashes on social media:
Instagram: @Southern_Ashes
Facebook: www.facebook.com/southernashesmusic
Twitter: @Southern_ashes

Smiley Asks: Mary Sarah

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Last week I had the opportunity to have a Q & A with a very talented artist from my Hometown of Houston Texas, Ms. Mary Sarah. Many may know her from her time on The Voice, but Houston has known her since before that. Which is why it was no surprise that after Harvey, Mary Sarah was actively involved, like many other Texas artists, in doing their part and helping raise funds for those affected by Harvey through different shows and organizations. Thankfully, Mary Sarah squeezed in a few minutes in her busy schedule to answer a few questions I had for her.

I know you’re also a Houston native, so first of all, how’s your family doing dealing with the aftermath of Harvey? I know it’s affected many people in Houston and its surrounding areas.

I am! Texas is home for me. Thankfully my family is safe. I do have a lot of friends who were effected and that was definitely tough hearing and watching. My family and I are mainly based out of Nashville now so when Harvey hit, I was in Nashville. It truly was tough to watch. That is why we decided to head to Texas to support as much as possible. We did 3 different fundraisers and raised over $28,000 in funds.

How has it been for you to be a part of different shows that are benefiting those that were affected by the disasters that Harvey left behind?

I have been truly honored to be able to help in any way. As an artist, we are given a platform and it's up to us to use it in the right way. I am truly thankful for the parents I have because they instilled that in not just myself but my siblings also.

What are you hoping people will take from the last couple days here in Texas? What lesson have you personally learned from this (if any)?

Well, I hope people see that taking time to help others doesn't just benefit them, but yourself too. For me, I don't think I could go a day without giving in some type of way. Whether it'd be money or even just lending an ear for someone to talk to. I hope others will see what we have done and want to help also. A lot of people see that someone needs to do something and they never decide to be that someone. But, the thing is, someone has to start the change. And, why not you?  Ya know?

For me, it has shown me exactly that. That if I step forward to help, others will see and others will join.
Credit: Mary Sarah 
Now, switching to the music side of things how does it feel to have your new single “Without You” out now for people to enjoy?

AMAZING. "Without You" is a song that helped me through a very tough period in my life and I just hope it does the same for others. At the end of the day, that's what I hope my music can do.

“Without You” definitely has a more soulful sound than “Dress up This Town”, could we expect the next album to be filled with songs similar to it, or a mixture of styles? And when can we expect it?

I definitely think the next chapter of music in my life is going to have a mixture of influences in it. I feel as artists we are always ever changing and with that, our music is ever changing. I don't have a specific date for the next release of music but I'm definitely hoping we get some stuff out in 2018!

Okay, just a few more questions. I know you have some great albums, and they all have something unique about them, which one has been your favorite to record so far? And why?

My Bridges project. Why? Well, it's not everyday you get to learn from such Legends. I started that project at 15yrs old and I think it was a monumental growing period for me and my artistry. I still use the advice given to me then by those legends even now. It was an incredible part of my journey.

Which song/cover is your favorite to perform at shows?

Well, I always like to change it up. So, right now it'd have to be my own version of Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton!
Credit: Mary Sarah

Any new and exciting projects that you are currently working on or planning to do?

There is actually a very very big project I am in the midst of working on. I can't say much about it but I will be able to announce details come up here in November! :) So, keep your eyes peeled!

Thank you again for answering my questions, and from one Houstonian to another, thank you for doing what you’ve been doing to help out our hometown and state. There is a long road to recovery, so everything being done by our Texas artists will definitely help. Hope you will be able to make it down to the Rio Grande Valley soon!

Thank you so much for sending the questions!! And no problem. It is truly the least I can do to help those in need. :)

There you have it folks, now go out and enjoy Mary Sarah's new single "Without You" and while you are at it check out her other musical projects.

Mary Sarah's Social Media:
Website: http://www.marysarah.com/
Facebook: Mary Sarah
Instagram: @MarySarahMusic
Twitter: @MarySarahMusic